So basically, we have had enough of posting sarcastic and stupid stuff about Ah Lians and Bengs here to ridicule them. Today we will discuss how to lead them back to the right track.
Ah Lians/Bengs become what they are due to the following reasons :
-They have no friends, hence they find a gang to join for a sense of belonging.
-They want to be popular and not known as nerds in school
-They want to be feared
-They do not want to study
And after all those reasons above, they join a gang which they met at the void deck and the problems start...
Common crimes Bengs/Lians commit :
-Assault
-Stealing
-Possession of drugs(The much more serious and ''into it'' ones)
-Underage smoking
-Underage sex(Also by the much more serious and ''into it'' ones)
*by ''into it'', we mean the more serious and extreme cases.
How Bengs/Lians makeup to feel a sense of belonging :
Believe it or not, Bengs and Lians actually use the same fashion to feel a sense of belonging in their gang. That is why we see some gangs with Mohican hairstyle and dyed red, while some are dyed blonde or brown. The clothes they wear are mostly outdated japanese fashion(according to Wiki's definition of Ah Lian and Ah Beng). To other it may seem ugly, but to them, it is fashionable as long as they sense belonging to the gang.
How to help Ah Lians/bengs back to the right track?
So the first step, to prevent, we must start early. For example, a girl in your school is lonely, everyone disses her, they look down on her, they say she is ugly, they bitch about her just for the fun of it. Obviously since she is so hated, she will join a gang just to get some friends so she may in turn easily get revenge on those who bullied her. But sadly, after joining a gang, it is VERY difficult to get out. Hence, do try to make friends with the lonely and erm.. bullied before their hair turns red and their fashion sense goes wild~
Second is, if a person has already joined a gang. Basically a common characteristic is that the person goes to school late often, stays out at the void deck with a group oftenly after school, all with their hair dyed, and some with pierced body parts and even holding a cigar. Then we can affirm that person is an ''official'' beng/lian. So maybe if that beng/lian is your friend, try talking them out of it.
How to talk them out of being a gang member?
We must stop them before they go into drugs and all sorts of nonsense. Talk to them about their future(Yeah alot of those policemen goes to different schools around Singapore to talk about the effects of drugs and smoking, but they just won't listen since they skip school sometimes). And them, tell them about how their parents would feel if all the money spent on their education goes to waste all because their kid wants to feel a sense of belonging and joins the wrong group of people. That should be enough to convince them, and if not, share with them stories of people who joined gangs and now regret it.(Do you all know there was an incident where a girl, after joining a gang, and wanted to get out, wasn't allowed to unless she had s** with all the boys in the gang?). That should scare your ah lian friend out of her wits that she withdraws from the gang early!! If she is forced to do something she should be doing, tell her to report it to the police.
Drug abusers....
Worse case scenario, your friend is now a drug abuser. Oh well, simple. Call the police and bring them to the rehab centre since there really is no other way out. Delaying the process will only kill them.
So basically these are all the ways you can save your Beng/Lian friends and lead them back to the right track. Though we admit not all methods up there will work, but it's just our 2 cents worth.
ABALAB.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Are Ah Lians/Bengs scared of ghosts?
Since Ah Lians and Bengs, as they claim, fear nothing, I wonder if they fear ghosts if ghosts do exist?
But.. Why should Ah Lians and bengs fear ghosts? Mmmm, BUT WHY SHOULD THEY NOT FEAR GHOST?
The answer lies with their makeup! :D
If Ah Lians have gone high class, they should most probably go for plastic surgery all the time, until their face looks like this, just like a ghost :
Gosh, that totally freaked me out.
Hence, the final conclusion :
Ah Lians/Bengs are not afraid of ghosts, and the reason lies with their makeup and appearance. :)
Friday, February 26, 2010
Ah Beng's guide to drinking beer
The Ah Beng drinking beer/wine era has arrived again, now here is a guide on HOW TO DRINK!First you must prepare a big tummy to store all that beer! :
You can never win wine without a big tummy! FAT is the new fashion
Ah bengs, if your brain permits, you may drink by holding the bottle in between your legs like this baby in the photo. HOW CUTE!
If you want to have a hangover after drinking all that beer, please stay in a group before you sleep on the ground in a public area lest the rubbish truck mistakes you as trash and collects you the next morning! =)
Oh yes! SEX! YOU CAN NEVER BEAT SEX! For those who want SEX after your hangover, please proceed to the nearest AH LIAN's house for your next exciting activity!
And when you are on your way, please make sure you don't fall into a pool/canal, or else, the canal which is already very polluted will become contaminated with your disease and all the fish inside will die. But if you are going to passby water, please check if Mas Selemat has escaped from prison for a second time, and if he did, he will most likely look like this :
Talkingcock.com :
''Now that Master of Disguise Mat Alamak/Masi Lemak/Mat Salah,Mat has been captured, we wonder what's going through his mind. He must be si peh too lan. But about what? Here's a list of Things That Are Making Mas Selamat Too Lan:''
Ah Lians, find your lifelong partner here!
found these ah beng(not really) blogs on aalteam's site
http://www.borntobeyourtaoeh.blogspot.com/
http://borntobeyourzhongeh.blogspot.com/
Ah lians, your life-long partners are here! (But please don't procreate, Singapore is already full of Ah Bengs who do nothing but crap all day, I don't want Singapore's future to be ruined by dickheads like you)
http://www.borntobeyourtaoeh.blogspot.com/
http://borntobeyourzhongeh.blogspot.com/
Ah lians, your life-long partners are here! (But please don't procreate, Singapore is already full of Ah Bengs who do nothing but crap all day, I don't want Singapore's future to be ruined by dickheads like you)
Wowwwee!
Wow! I just love the comments made by ANOREXSHIT on our blog! THEY JUST, ONCE AGAIN, MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD THAT I CAN JUMP OUT OF MY SEAT!
''hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this blog is too funny. i almost feel compelled to come here more often just to provoke you (and by provoke i mean provide logical arguments proving your ignorance and stupidity) just to make you say funnier things. i don't mean to come off as condescending but your replies are simply asking for it! :D''
wah! THIS AH LIAN WANNA PROVOKE US LEH! WE ARE SO DAMN SCARED! EEYER! STAY AWAY FROM US! WE DON'T WANT TO GET AIDS!
Why are you so upset about my posts about Lians and Bengs? D: Oh yes, I forgot, you are one of them! Now, as I said before, don't always come here, go to other AAL blogs to cause trouble! They need your attention! If not, crawl back to your little brothel to continue serving your Ah beng guests!
Now who is funnier?? Never seen such a thick skinned Ah Lian who comes here again and again just to entertain us! And thanks my dear Anorexshit. Actually, there was nothing much for me to post on this blog, till YOU CAME! THANKS FOR GIVING US THE INSPIRATION! =D
''hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this blog is too funny. i almost feel compelled to come here more often just to provoke you (and by provoke i mean provide logical arguments proving your ignorance and stupidity) just to make you say funnier things. i don't mean to come off as condescending but your replies are simply asking for it! :D''
wah! THIS AH LIAN WANNA PROVOKE US LEH! WE ARE SO DAMN SCARED! EEYER! STAY AWAY FROM US! WE DON'T WANT TO GET AIDS!
Why are you so upset about my posts about Lians and Bengs? D: Oh yes, I forgot, you are one of them! Now, as I said before, don't always come here, go to other AAL blogs to cause trouble! They need your attention! If not, crawl back to your little brothel to continue serving your Ah beng guests!
Now who is funnier?? Never seen such a thick skinned Ah Lian who comes here again and again just to entertain us! And thanks my dear Anorexshit. Actually, there was nothing much for me to post on this blog, till YOU CAME! THANKS FOR GIVING US THE INSPIRATION! =D
Heyall, BENG HATERS!
Recently there has been a wave of stupid remarks coming from lians on our introduction posts. Man, I love these remarks! THEY JUST ENTERTAIN ME AND MAKE ME LAUGH THE HELL OUT! LOOK AT THESE AH LIAN GANGSTERS TRYING TO FEIGN BEING CIVILLIZED AND JUST LOOK AT HOW THEY TRY TO TYPE GOOD ENGLISH! (THEY DID A FAIRLY GOOD JOB THOUGH), TOTALLY HILARIOUS AND SHOULD BE PUT AS JOKE OF THE YEAR INTERNATIONALLY! NOW, let's quote from these lil bitchfaces , look at what they wrote and the irony you can find inside. Seriously they say OUR posts here are IRONIC that we criticize those who criticize others, but in overall, who started the insults first? Bengs/Lians/Showoffs or the normal people like us? THINK. BUT SADLY, AH LIANS HAVE NO BRAINS AND HENCE THEY COME UP WITH A LUMP OF SHIT POSTS THAT SIMPLY MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL!
LET'S QUOTE! :
''okay okay okay wait. are you bloggers serious?
CAN YOU NOT SEE THE COMPLETE IRONY IN THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF YOUR BLOG?!!??!?
you guys claim to hate bengs and lians in part because they're stupid, because they don't type properly etc. essentially you're saying that you hate them because they are inferior to you. doesn't that make you guys judgmental, atas, BOASTFUL assholes? clearly by the tone of your 'descriptions' and 'deductions' (don't even get me started on the ridiculous 'conclusions' you made based on the 'observations' of ahbengs!) you think you're superior to them, why else would you be able to judge them so maliciously. the fact that you're assuming you have a moral high-ground relative to the bengs/lians characterizes yourselves as being under the 'delusion of Grandiose, thinking that [you] are the greatest and no one can be greater than [you]'. however i feel that you 'are not great at all' and 'are just losers who cannot admit to [your] own mistakes'. FURTHERMORE, the fact that you are 'outright dissing someone... labelling them as BAD or incompetent' fits your OWN description of being 'boastful' and 'egoistic'. the irony that you can't even sense your OWN irony is hilarious.
*i also am aware that i myself may sound a little ironic because i seem to be judging you, but i just had to make it obvious that what you guys are doing is very very very hypocritical. if you're going to start a blog dissing bengs/lians, and THEN diss people who diss others.. you're really asking for it la. besides, who are we to judge? what makes you think you're better than them? because you're academically inclined? (judging by your grammatical errors, this can't be the case.) the point is, i'm not here to judge, i'd just like to point out that you are being very hypocritical in judging bengs/lians, and are EVEN more hypocritical in judging 'boastful' people.''
===================================================================
''a taste of their own poison'? so in order to spite them, you become a hypocrite and become the very person you were judging? that doesn't sound like a very effective method. you're being boastful when you criticize the boastful, so all the bad stuff you said about them directly applies to yourselves. do you see that?''
===================================================================
''
I can just laugh over and over again when I read these posts, and they are just really Ah Lians man, I have noticed lians commenting on Anti Lian blogs with stupid nicknames, and these bitches are no exception. Anorexsick????? Why not rename yourself Anorexshit, suits lians like you best! And Sot Yuxin? You sot already ahhh????? :O Stupid nicknames come from the stupid.
I don't think that you ah lians make anymore logic than us, seriously.
-Why do you think we would even bother starting a blog to waste our time on gangsters like you? For fun? Sorry we don't waste time on you, we start this blog for those who are against Lians/Bengs/Showoffs, not for you! :D We are here to let people share their feelings and their experiences with AH LIANS!
-In what way are we considered BOASTFUL and also having the delusion of GRANDIOSE just because we judge them here? ONCE AGAIN, BECAUSE WE JUDGE THEM? :D Stupid logic, don't you bitches know it is YOU AH LIANS/BENGS who started the JUDGING FIRST? And I see irony from the posts of ANOREXSICK. Since we can't judge those who go around judging others first, then why is she hurling insults back at us when we insulted her for her stupid comment? Dumbass, AH LIANS, NOTHING BETTER TO DO, GO AND SLEEP WITH YOUR AH BENGS! AND IT IS ONCE AGAIN PRECISELY BECAUSE OF GANGSTER LIANS AND BENGS LIKE YOU THAT MY SCHOOL BANNED STUDENTS FROM GOING OUT TO PUBLIC AREAS IN UNIFORM! BECAUSE BENGS AND LIANS LIKE YOU GO AROUND FIGHTING AND SMOKING IN SCHOOL UNI! WHAT A DISGRACE! @: !,
So maybe, as the author on AALTEAM.BLOGSPOT.COM said, :
''Some of you may have received the prank sms about the hoax bombing at Bugis.
LET'S QUOTE! :
''okay okay okay wait. are you bloggers serious?
CAN YOU NOT SEE THE COMPLETE IRONY IN THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF YOUR BLOG?!!??!?
you guys claim to hate bengs and lians in part because they're stupid, because they don't type properly etc. essentially you're saying that you hate them because they are inferior to you. doesn't that make you guys judgmental, atas, BOASTFUL assholes? clearly by the tone of your 'descriptions' and 'deductions' (don't even get me started on the ridiculous 'conclusions' you made based on the 'observations' of ahbengs!) you think you're superior to them, why else would you be able to judge them so maliciously. the fact that you're assuming you have a moral high-ground relative to the bengs/lians characterizes yourselves as being under the 'delusion of Grandiose, thinking that [you] are the greatest and no one can be greater than [you]'. however i feel that you 'are not great at all' and 'are just losers who cannot admit to [your] own mistakes'. FURTHERMORE, the fact that you are 'outright dissing someone... labelling them as BAD or incompetent' fits your OWN description of being 'boastful' and 'egoistic'. the irony that you can't even sense your OWN irony is hilarious.
*i also am aware that i myself may sound a little ironic because i seem to be judging you, but i just had to make it obvious that what you guys are doing is very very very hypocritical. if you're going to start a blog dissing bengs/lians, and THEN diss people who diss others.. you're really asking for it la. besides, who are we to judge? what makes you think you're better than them? because you're academically inclined? (judging by your grammatical errors, this can't be the case.) the point is, i'm not here to judge, i'd just like to point out that you are being very hypocritical in judging bengs/lians, and are EVEN more hypocritical in judging 'boastful' people.''
===================================================================
''a taste of their own poison'? so in order to spite them, you become a hypocrite and become the very person you were judging? that doesn't sound like a very effective method. you're being boastful when you criticize the boastful, so all the bad stuff you said about them directly applies to yourselves. do you see that?''
===================================================================
''
- Sot Yuxin said...
-
Do you not realize that this is a complete joke?
1. Is there a need to use the vulgarities?
2. The tone you use, like anorexsick has pointed out, makes you sound superior and thus, according to your logic, makes you a boastful asshole. Should we be setting up a special blog for you too?
3. The way you posts reminds me of myself when I was in primary 3. Really.'' - ===================================================================
- ''
- anorexsick said...
-
hahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaah.
i wish i were an ahlian, so i'd be able to say that i'm smarter than you despite my 'limitations'!
wow. i can't believe you're not aware of this yet, but your stupidity is such an amazing source of amusement. i want to try and help you realize your stupidity and hypocrisy, but i don't think i can explain it to you in a simpler way.
my advice for you (made with good intent) is that you don't blog anymore, to save yourself from looking like an idiot. but of course, feel free to embarrass yourself further. just know that other people who read this, anyone who is capable of basic reasoning and understanding, will be laughing away with me, at you.'' - ==================================================================
I can just laugh over and over again when I read these posts, and they are just really Ah Lians man, I have noticed lians commenting on Anti Lian blogs with stupid nicknames, and these bitches are no exception. Anorexsick????? Why not rename yourself Anorexshit, suits lians like you best! And Sot Yuxin? You sot already ahhh????? :O Stupid nicknames come from the stupid.
I don't think that you ah lians make anymore logic than us, seriously.
-Why do you think we would even bother starting a blog to waste our time on gangsters like you? For fun? Sorry we don't waste time on you, we start this blog for those who are against Lians/Bengs/Showoffs, not for you! :D We are here to let people share their feelings and their experiences with AH LIANS!
-In what way are we considered BOASTFUL and also having the delusion of GRANDIOSE just because we judge them here? ONCE AGAIN, BECAUSE WE JUDGE THEM? :D Stupid logic, don't you bitches know it is YOU AH LIANS/BENGS who started the JUDGING FIRST? And I see irony from the posts of ANOREXSICK. Since we can't judge those who go around judging others first, then why is she hurling insults back at us when we insulted her for her stupid comment? Dumbass, AH LIANS, NOTHING BETTER TO DO, GO AND SLEEP WITH YOUR AH BENGS! AND IT IS ONCE AGAIN PRECISELY BECAUSE OF GANGSTER LIANS AND BENGS LIKE YOU THAT MY SCHOOL BANNED STUDENTS FROM GOING OUT TO PUBLIC AREAS IN UNIFORM! BECAUSE BENGS AND LIANS LIKE YOU GO AROUND FIGHTING AND SMOKING IN SCHOOL UNI! WHAT A DISGRACE! @: !,
So maybe, as the author on AALTEAM.BLOGSPOT.COM said, :
''Some of you may have received the prank sms about the hoax bombing at Bugis.
So I was thinking... maybe the idiot who started this hoax just wanted to scare all the ah lians and ah bengs away from bugis so he could go shopping without having the noise pollution of wonderful colourful Hokkien vulgarities for once.
Let's try re-writing it for fun :D
you can send in your own versions to our gmail or leave it as a comment, but please DO NOT MASS SEND IT OUT, because whoever sends out hoax smses about such a serious issue has to be a complete and utter retard for thinking that they can misuse such a serious threat against the securities and authorities.
Actual news report: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090221/tap-609-19-year-old-arrested-sms-hoax-po-231650b.html
Original text:
Kindly spread e news 2 yr friends. If possible, dun go Bugis these few days. Terrorists may plant bomb ard that area. This msg was forwarded from my friend's army friend who are alrdy on 24hrs standby. Not sure how true but i was told dat dere quite a number of policemen patrolling ard. just be safe than sorry! hv a nice weekend ahead though!
Re-written text:
Kindly spread the news to your friends. If possible, don't go to Bugis these few days, or better still, never set foot there again. There has been a serious viral infection known as "Ahlianitis" that is said to kill people with high level of annoyance and stupidity. This msg was forwarded from my friend's friend working in the hospital and is on 24hrs standby. Not sure how true but i was told that the area has been quarantined. Better to be safe than sorry! Have a nice weekend ahead though!
Lengthy yes, but my brain is laughing and I can't think straight and neither can I think of a better one. So send in your versions or post them as comments if you think you have a better version!
Take note this is for purely amusement purposes. You should not ever mass send hoax smses that threaten our country's safety because it is the most stupid thing you can do.''
BYE STUPID LIANS
WAH! ANOREXSICK THIS AH LIAN WANNA FIGHT?
WAH! ANOREXSHIT THIS AH LIAN WANNA FIGHT AH? COME LAH! STUPID LIAN! ANOREX! ANALREX! WANNA FIGHT?
Sadly,
''hahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaah.
i wish i were an ahlian, so i'd be able to say that i'm smarter than you despite my 'limitations'!
wow. i can't believe you're not aware of this yet, but your stupidity is such an amazing source of amusement. i want to try and help you realize your stupidity and hypocrisy, but i don't think i can explain it to you in a simpler way.
my advice for you (made with good intent) is that you don't blog anymore, to save yourself from looking like an idiot. but of course, feel free to embarrass yourself further. just know that other people who read this, anyone who is capable of basic reasoning and understanding, will be laughing away with me, at you.''-Anorexsick
OH THE IRONY, YOU ARE ALREADY AN AH LIAN, DON'T BE HEARTBROKEN JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T WELCOME YOU HERE, OKAY? GOOD GAME.
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